I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize