I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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