who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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