I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
only if we run a train.
done.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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