woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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