yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
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That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
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Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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