I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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