i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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