Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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