I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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