I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize