Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize