the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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