Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
