You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
