I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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