I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
