I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she told me i tasted like america
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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