Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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