You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
