How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize