I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
