If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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