Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
