Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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