dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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