problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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