We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
operation harelip BJ is a go
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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