I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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