and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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