We got so high we made milksteak
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
