I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
