I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You're completely useless in the revolution.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize