I wanna bring you to show and tell
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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