It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
