I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
