I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
