You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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