how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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