Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
