It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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