Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
