when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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