You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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