i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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