I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
