There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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