You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
