I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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