PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
