I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
