member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
