This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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