I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
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I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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