i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
